Being the centre of attention
If you’re an Aspie, the title of today’s post might make you a little uncomfortable. I’m not an attention seeker either, although my fear of attracting notice isn’t quite as severe as it was when I was a child.Even positive attention such as compliments and congratulations are still met with a certain perturbation. I don’t quite know how to respond and it feels uncomfortable.
The reason this topic is on my mind today is that recently I’ve had a spate of being the object of attention. I’ve had to announce my pregnancy to a lot of family, friends and colleagues and the whole process has been awkward and fraught with tension.
The worst was telling colleagues. They are very excited for me, which is lovely. I just wish I could have told them in an email or letter instead of face-to-face.
I still have one last friend to tell and I’ve been putting the phonecall off for weeks. I know she’ll be happy for me and we’ll probably have a great time talking about what cute onesies I should get while eating home-baked biscuits. It’s just a case of getting the main announcement out of my brain, via my mouth, and then hanging around instead of just running.
I feel stupid, because it is stupid. This is good news, so why am I afraid of it? Why does my heart hammer and my feet and palms sweat?
I think of this fear as something particular to those with Asperger’s because the fear lies in not knowing how to respond and how it could change the dynamic of the relationship.
What do you think?