The monster behind the door

When I was a kid I thought there was a monster waiting behind my bedroom door. I’d lie in bed staring at the door, imagining I could see the shape of something horrific lurking behind it, ready to do whatever it is monsters do when you shut your eyes and let your guard down.

If I had opened the door, I would have seen there was nothing there (hopefully).

What actually happened is that I was too scared to check, and was afraid of going to bed and falling asleep for a long time. I also used to believe there was a ghost chasing me up the stairs at night, but that’s a digression…

Last week I wrote about being afraid of ruining my child’s life with my Aspergers. It was a different kind of monster behind another door.

I mentioned my worries to my husband and that has helped me get things in perspective. I no longer believe I am ruining my daughter’s life just because I have a non-NT way of thinking. My husband also researched the early signs of autism and Aspergers (as my other worry was that I’d passed it on).

So far, she seems to be free of AS, but I feel better knowing what to look out for, and knowing that if she does have it, I will be able to help her understand herself.

I feel so much better now that I’ve looked behind the door!



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