Finding the right words

If you follow the blog, you’ll know I’m in the process of retraining. My day job is still about finding the right words for my clients, but I’m studying to work with numbers.

Having Asperger’s means that whatever job I do, I still have to think about finding the right words. Today I saw a message in a Facebook group for people with AS. A man who is in the UK to study at University, with a recent diagnosis, and no idea of how to cope. What do I say?

I don’t know what help is available. I don’t know what he should do. To be honest, his message didn’t make it clear what he wanted to do, or what he was actually struggling with. What do you say?

I’d like to say, “don’t be a moron, if you’re diagnosed with AS and you know nothing about it, then read a book! You’re a student for heaven’s sake – you should know about basic research methods!”

This doesn’t seem helpful, so I decided to take my time and find better words. It feels wrong to let him go unanswered. What if nobody in the group can think of what to say to him?

I don’t want a long drawn-out conversation where I ask lots of specific questions so I can tailor my response. So what can I say?

I suppose I could recommend a book. I could even do an internet search for support groups near his University. But why can’t he do that? Is he looking for something more? Is there some golden insight that an ‘old-timer’ like me (someone who’s known about their AS for more than six months) should be able to pass on?

Maybe he’s just lazy. I have no idea. But I still hate the thought that he might not get a reply. He might be completely overwhelmed and desperate just to make contact with another Aspie to put a cap on the loneliness.

Sometimes when I used to try and talk, my voice wouldn’t come out, or it would come out too quiet to hear. How sad would it be to actually get your words out and still not be answered.


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