Chronically clumsy

I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure I stub my toe, knock my elbows, walk into stuff, and drop things more than my toddler does.

After stumbling during an exercise and listening to my PT talk about her love life, I said, “So I’m being clumsy and you’re fucking stuff up. It’s just a standard week.” My clumsiness and lack of coordination have long been a cause of annoyance. Nothing dents the confidence quite like a class full of children shouting at you because you can’t hit a ball, or because the one time you got lucky and did hit the ball, you weren’t sure what to do next.

“Throw the bat down!”

“Run!”

“No – keep the bat!”

“You’re out!”

On the page, these phrases appear helpfully separated by a line space. In real life, I seem to recall they come all at once; an indistinct jumble that I have interpreted years later.

As I grew up, my hobbies seemed designed to improve my coordination. And yet, I am still stubbing my toe, tripping over stuff, and knocking my elbows daily. What would I be like without those years of dancing, yoga, karate, etc…?

Today I watched a woman complete the hardest assault course I have ever seen. The clip was posted on Facebook – maybe you saw it too? Wow. This tiny little woman, with so much strength and coordination. I would love to be like that.

This is why I take the toddler to Tumble tots.