Becoming my mother

I have always looked like my mum, and since my teens I’ve been aware of many similarities between us. I suspect she also has Asperger’s, although naturally we haven’t discussed it.

In my last post I spoke about making more changes and getting a hobby. I have taken up gardening! I am now the proud caretaker of a peach tree, in full blossom, and several herbs which aren’t growing as quickly as I want. I also have some carrots – just planted – which I’m hoping to catch sight of in a week or two.

My mum is a keen gardener, though she favours flowers and I prefer to grow things I can eat. My parents came to help me clear out my garden over the Easter weekend. We pruned a giant clematis, washed the patio, sorted the compost bin out, and mowed the lawn. Every time my Dad was about to switch on the mower, or any other noisy bit of kit, he’d warn us that there would be a loud noise.

It was this that made me think I was becoming my mother. My husband has been trained to warn me of impending loud noises. He knows they make me jump and recoil. Now I know that my mum and dad have the same relationship.

She dislikes the loud noises so he warns her when they’re coming. He also does most of the driving because she gets stressed and struggles to find her way around.

I wonder where the boundary lies between my Asperger’s and learnt behaviour.

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2 comments
  1. That’s a good question! (what is your aspergers and what is learned behavior). I have grown children who were always highly sensitive. It was fine line figuring out what sensitivities could/should be desensitized (school cafeteria? etc) and which ones should just be off limits.

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