Party season

How does that title make you feel?

Parties are meant to be fun, aren’t they? That’s where tens of people gather to celebrate something or other, and at this time of year there may be mulled beverages too! Not for me of course, I’m still pregnant. And I still have Asperger’s.

Today I got invited to a party with lots of other mums from my daughter’s school. I was invited via an open invitation on a Facebook group – I’m not sure anyone actually wants me there. After all, most of the mums barely know me. I’m still at the stage where I find it difficult to say hello in the playground.

These last few weeks I have been quite pleased with myself for making a mum-friend and arranging a few playdates. Yet when I saw the party invitation I just wanted to hide, then cry. My mum-friend has commented to say she’s looking forward to it. I thought she was shy like me? And yet, she’s going and looking forward to it. I can’t bare the thought of going and having to stay sober. Besides, my husband is out tomorrow and it’s very short notice to get a babysitter.

In truth, even if my husband wasn’t going out, I’d probably still decline. I can’t help who I am, but school is much more socially demanding than I’d anticipated. I don’t want my daughter to miss out just because her mum’s a bit useless.

In summary, I’m fed up of having Asperger’s. Can it go away now please?