Archive

Tag Archives: career development

Not to be confused with my last post, (where I considered the Aspie’s perception of themselves versus their culture), today I am thinking about how we get to where we are now.

I still assume that many people will perceive me as a mousy, quiet, under-achiever who hasn’t really ‘made it’. At the same time, I’m employed as a company Director, and I’m training to become a qualified management accountant. I have two degrees, and I’m a mum.

I recently passed another exam and yet, here I am, still wondering if this is me. I feel under-qualified. I feel a hint of embarrassment using my Director’s email signature. I am still playing lackey to other people in the same company.

When I think about my career path, it feels like some strange accident has put me in this position. I still remember the awful feeling of not gelling with teams, of knowing my managers didn’t think I was up to the job. I have carried this ‘fish out of water’ sensation with me for the last 11 years.

It’s ridiculous, but I still lose confidence so easily.

I’m glad I kept trying. I will keep doing that.

Advertisements

I am trying to streamline my life. This is because I decided I wanted to do more, so I think I need to focus my efforts.

I’m not known for being organised, in my activity or my thoughts. I think people on the autism spectrum generally have a hard time arranging their ideas coherently and Aspies are known for not keeping their important paperwork in order.

I am no different. If it weren’t for my partner, my whole life would be chaotic. As it is, maybe only 30-40% of it is.

As my days veer through ideas for clients, new blog posts, laundry, things to do with the toddler, career development, friends, worrying about ISIS, and what to cook for dinner tonight, it is apparent that there is too much going on. The best cure for this seems to be taking action.

  • Worried about a friend? Do something nice for them.
  • Wondering what to cook? Make a plan and then cook it.
  • New blog post or career opportunity? Take steps towards fulfilling it.
  • Laundry? Find a slot in your diary and type it in. Then do it!

Clearly, this active approach won’t offer a solution to bigger worries such as terrorist activity. The same goes for getting angry about gender inequality. I can have all the imaginary conversations I want and I still won’t have found a suitable course of action. This is why I am not in charge of a major world power. (And I suspect there are many other reasons). I imagine that, if required and he weren’t busy running the country, David Cameron could keep on top of his own laundry schedule.

However, I can act in smaller ways to help me let go of worries and the annoying scattered thoughts which fill my mind, waste my time and drain my energy.

To that end, I’ve applied for my course and been accepted. Now I just have to wait five working days (!) to access the course material.

I realise this is a very long-winded way of giving my news. But if I streamlined too much, it would have been a very dull post!