Archive

Tag Archives: emotions

I am feeling much better than I did when I wrote my last post. Thanks to those readers who made the effort to click ‘like’ – you made a big difference to my mood!

Last night I was at a yoga class, and the music my instructor chose for our meditation at the end had me in tears. This is not unusual, she often seems to pick something that makes me well up. I have always been a very emotional person, and I’ve always found that can be difficult to manage. Last night I started to wonder if people with Asperger’s are more prone to anxiety simply because they have such strong, deep feelings. Do we suffer from excess emotion? Or is it just my reproductive cycle causing problems that have nothing to do with Asperger’s?

My husband, an NT, doesn’t share my deep-seated fears and concerns. He is almost always calm, buoyant, and reliably reassuring. I know that’s not a ‘man thing’, because I know many men who aren’t the same. He is my life raft. I know there are braver folk than me out there, getting on with all sorts of complications with no one at their side. Or worse, someone awful at their side, who just isn’t helpful. I am lucky he is so unflappable.

But why all the introspection? I could be far more worried about America, or Aleppo for that matter! But what I am questioning now is, am I strong enough to re-engage with the strongest, most frightening emotions I have ever experienced? I am considering becoming a mother again.

So, today I am hoping to reach out to other Aspie parents. Do you have a second child? Are you considering that leap? I’d be interested to hear another perspective.

Advertisements

I’m a big fan of logic, and although I like emotions too (when they’re positive), I think that sometimes it takes a dose of cold logic to keep us sane.

Emotions can be logical. I’m afraid to get too close to the lion in case it bites my head off. In this case the emotion, fear, serves a very practical purpose. If I wasn’t afraid I’d probably get my head bitten off. If someone close to me becomes very ill then it’s natural to feel sad. It’s not helpful, but you couldn’t really say it was illogical either. I care, therefore I feel. Aspies aren’t machines!

However, I do think Aspies are good at ‘compartmentalising’. I think we’re good at shutting down negative and unhelpful emotions. One good cry – if we really have to –  and that’s enough. Time to shut it down and move on.

Over the years this is something I’ve practiced. It’s a skill I had to learn but I found that I could do it well. It doesn’t mean I don’t get affected by events like everybody else, it just means that my recovery period is often quicker.

Imagine how much time gets wasted by people crying over things they can’t change, hating themselves, or worrying about things that don’t matter. This should make anyone angry. Not angry enough to dwell on it (pointlessly), but angry enough to do something about it.

There’s a saying in the UK, “if you’ve got nothing nice to say, don’t say anything.” Sometimes we need to apply this to our inner voice, change our attitude, and stop wasting our time and energy on negativity. You don’t have to ignore all the bad stuff. Just acknowledge it and move on.