Yesterday I achieved something for the first time. Something that should be no big deal, but has taken me over a decade. I went to my polling station – alone.
In the past, I’ve had my sister or boyfriend / husband with me, and I’ve always been anxious about it.
Where do I go? What if they can’t find a record of me? What if I do something stupid like walk into something other than a polling booth? What if I make a mistake on my paper? What if I can’t find the ballot box? What if I take the wring door when I try to leave? What if there’s a big queue and I’m late for work?
The list of worries is ridiculous, and I’ve always been reassured by having someone with me who I trust to know what to do and exactly where to go.
This time, I managed it by myself, and it was ridiculously easy. It made me think about other milestones that are harder, and often come later for people with Aspergers.
I was late to drive a car. Late to have my first boyfriend. Late to start my career (I went on to a postgraduate course to avoid making the leap). Now I wonder what I was waiting for. What was so scary?
These milestones are not innately ridiculous, but my disproportionate fear of them has been.