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I am trying to streamline my life. This is because I decided I wanted to do more, so I think I need to focus my efforts.

I’m not known for being organised, in my activity or my thoughts. I think people on the autism spectrum generally have a hard time arranging their ideas coherently and Aspies are known for not keeping their important paperwork in order.

I am no different. If it weren’t for my partner, my whole life would be chaotic. As it is, maybe only 30-40% of it is.

As my days veer through ideas for clients, new blog posts, laundry, things to do with the toddler, career development, friends, worrying about ISIS, and what to cook for dinner tonight, it is apparent that there is too much going on. The best cure for this seems to be taking action.

  • Worried about a friend? Do something nice for them.
  • Wondering what to cook? Make a plan and then cook it.
  • New blog post or career opportunity? Take steps towards fulfilling it.
  • Laundry? Find a slot in your diary and type it in. Then do it!

Clearly, this active approach won’t offer a solution to bigger worries such as terrorist activity. The same goes for getting angry about gender inequality. I can have all the imaginary conversations I want and I still won’t have found a suitable course of action. This is why I am not in charge of a major world power. (And I suspect there are many other reasons). I imagine that, if required and he weren’t busy running the country, David Cameron could keep on top of his own laundry schedule.

However, I can act in smaller ways to help me let go of worries and the annoying scattered thoughts which fill my mind, waste my time and drain my energy.

To that end, I’ve applied for my course and been accepted. Now I just have to wait five working days (!) to access the course material.

I realise this is a very long-winded way of giving my news. But if I streamlined too much, it would have been a very dull post!

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My life has a structure. My days are either with my daughter or at work, that is the main division in my life, the primary organising principle. Days with my daughter are split into activities, meal, and sleep times. Days at work are split between clients and activity types. This continuous stream of order doesn’t leave much space for chaos. The word only occurs to me now because of some of my clients.

As a writer, my view of each project is only part of the picture. I glean other snippets from colleagues, but my principal understanding is of the content requirements. In my mind there is no need for disruption, confusion, or chaos, and yet…

Things keep changing. Data and requests come in that don’t make sense. Resources are reissued, without change, with no explanatory comment.

I receive each new task with a sense of bewilderment. I complete my work, and wait for the next round of confusion.

Is it because I only see part of what goes on, or are some of my clients genuinely running around like headless chickens? If so, what has caused this chaos? Is it a lack of resource, or logic?

I am perplexed by chaos because I cannot see any good reason for it.

So, this is my post today. No insight. Just confusion shared.