OK, whinge alert!
I’ve been with my husband a long time now, and I’ve always accepted that his social skills and way of seeing the world are more likely to be ‘right’, or less offensive, than my own. After all, only one of us has Asperger’s, so it stands to reason he (as the non-Aspie), will better understand what emotional responses are more in tune with whatever’s happening. He reminds me that it’s important to remember people’s wedding anniversaries – for close family members at least. He advises me when it’s best to keep my mouth shut about something. When I have a tricky work dilemma, I like to get his take on the situation. All this is good but…
Sometimes I think – is it SO wrong just to be me?
When my husband proposed, he knew my brain worked differently. I didn’t understand it as fully as I do now – and I have no idea how much my husband really ‘gets’ the Aspie thing. But he DID know that I have different social skills and some of the things he thinks are important just make me roll my eyes. I’m sure his influence has improved me, but did he marry me thinking this was just a phase? Did he marry me thinking he’d always be a kind of ‘carer’? Should I always be expected to bow to his opinion on anything related to social interactions just because I’m wired differently?
I don’t think of Asperger’s as a disability. So why would it be so wrong to let me react naturally to things? Would I suddenly alienate everyone around me?
To be fair, I have alienated plenty of people in my time, but not (I think) for more than a decade. I’d like to think that’s not solely down to the supervision of my ‘carer’.
Aspie’s in relationships with non-Aspie’s (or vice-versa), what’s your take on this? Do you get ‘corrected’?